T'il Death Do Us Part

Just a few weeks ago, I received the EXCITING news that my cousin Jodi and my good friend Mike are getting married this August! When I read the email from Jodi, I was so happy I could have cried and couldn't stop grinning. I only wish that I'd had someone to jump up and down with and scream and be all girly and excited with! In fact, I am so excited about this marriage that I've paid the big bucks to fly back to Canada for three weeks this summer to be a bridesmaid in the wedding--did I mention, I set them up last May? (matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match!)

Mike and Jodi--aren't the adorable?!

Joy is the typical response when we hear about an upcoming wedding in Canada and so if feels very weird to me that every time I hear about an impending wedding here, I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. It feels very unnatural.

Just this past weekend, I received at text from one of my good friends, Aminata. It read, "My wedding is May 15th. Tell Chantelle. I'm marrying my cousin Moussa. I will continue going to school." From a North American view point, it seems like the lousiest wedding invitation ever! And when I received it, I have to admit, I shed a few tears. It was hard news to take.

Ever since I met Aminata, she's talked about how she didn't want to get married until she was finished school. Now she's in her last year of college (highschool in the French system, give or take) with only a few months left to go before graduation. She's told me on several occasions that she then wants to go onto become a nurse. Marriage seems almost like a death sentence for those dreams.

Aminata and I--isn't she lovely?

One of the things that confuses me the most is that she's alway said that she wouldn't get married till she was finished school. So, I ask myself, why is she getting married, just two short months before writing her big exam? Is this a forced marriage? Something her family is imposing on her? Or was she just telling me what she thought I wanted to hear? Either option breaks my heart. I don't understand why she/they can't wait the two months until she finishes school. Is it too cynical to think that perhaps they don't value education as much as they've let on?

Only a few short weeks ago, Aminata told me that she prefers Christian weddings. My first assumption was that she likely meant Western weddings and wanted the pretty white dress and flowers and all that jazz. But when I asked her why, she answered, "Because the couple stands up in public and declares their love for each other and promises that this is a permanent thing. They will stay together in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, till death do them part." She likes the idea of marriage being a permanent thing, not something that is easily dissolved by divorce as it is here (where there's no legal component to marriage or divorce). So I wonder, if Aminata were to have a "Christian wedding," would she be able to say without hesitation, in public, that this is the man that she wants to spend the rest of her life with? I sure hope so!